OFFENSE

“... bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”

Colossians 3: 13 (NIV)

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INTRODUCTION

When sinned against the most natural reaction is to feel angry. Transgressions against us can not only be hurtful but can cause great damage. If we are not careful when dealing with wounds, we can fall into offense. That can lead to the darkening of the mind. A state in which we see enemies everywhere we look. Letting the offense pass us through and go into the death of Yeshua is the correct answer. But if we have fallen into offense, then there are 5 steps we should take to break it.

WHEN TAKEN UNDER

I remember vividly one season that lasted about six months when I was struggling with an offense. I was so overwhelmed by this transgression done towards me that my thoughts were predominantly focused on the person and offense. There was anger, bitterness, and resentment. I was extremely angry at this individual and could not easily forgive. I battled for 6 months. Then I contracted covid. During my isolation, I finally started to let it all go. 

The big problem with offense is how sneakily it creeps upon you. You think the anger you feel is justifiable, when in reality it may have already evolved into offense, bitterness, and resentment. The transition isn’t always so easily detectable. The results though can be devastating.

WHAT IS OFFENSE?

When going through an offense, it usually means something has happened that's impacted our identity, our heart, or our soul. It manifests in bouts of anger and the desire to make those who have hurt us pay. (2)

It all stems from God’s and our image being distorted. When someone hurts us badly or causes us to lose opportunities, promotions, or relationships, the need for justice many times arises. Sometimes this overwhelms us and overrides our emotions. Many times it leads us into the need to protect ourselves and can result in the formation of self-sabotaging mechanisms. It can also lead one to walk in pride. For instance, pride or self-preservation may cause someone to refuse to apologize when they've hurt someone. 

The outcome of it all is the loss of promotions, blessings, and breakthroughs. Offense cuts us away from God’s grace. Refusing or struggling to forgive someone is idolatry as well. It indicates that we think Yeshua’s blood was not enough to pay for the other person’s sin; that His blood is not enough to restore us, heal us, and recompense us. This is a deeply rooted lie making us believe that God would not provide, restore, vindicate, or protect.

THE DARKENING OF THE MIND

If not careful walking in offense can result in the darkening of the mind. We can start to reject the person in question and many times isolate ourselves away. Over time a hardened heart starts to close off even to others the more it gets hurt. It produces a darkened mind. 

Everywhere it looks it sees potential deceit and it keeps itself well hidden to protect itself. But in doing so it is walking in idolatry. Nothing from the outside could ever defile us. It is our thoughts in our hearts that do so as Yeshua said in Mark 7: 17-23 (NIV).

Craig Hill said the following regarding this subject:

Ephesians 6 says that the enemy fires fiery darts at us and some people think that the shield of faith is hardening your heart and shutting all that out. No, no, no! The shield of faith is when you actually come to God and find out who He says you are. When you get His truth of identity, His truth of destiny, His truth of your welfare, and your purpose. To find out that He will be the shield around you. He will be your refuge and He will be your defender.  If you believe that, you become secure and confident in His defense. You don’t have to defend yourself or harden your heart. (3)

If our mind is darkened we have a harder time noticing the blessings of God around us and may miss good opportunities. 

DEALING WITH OFFENSE

The best way of dealing with offense is not letting the offense even take seed. Instead, we should let the attack go straight into the death of the Messiah and let it bring the resurrection of life for ourselves and the opposite party. (4)

But if we have fallen into offense take the following steps to effectively deal with it: 

1. Acknowledge that you have been hurt. You can say it to yourself or the Lord.

2. Cleanse the wound by releasing the emotion. There is healing in tears so do not hold tears inside. Let them flow. You can also write down the offense.

3. Listen to the Holy Spirit and repent. Examine the situation and ask: “What should I repent of? How did I contribute to the situation? What should I have done differently?” 

4. Forgive and walk out the process of forgiveness. Not just for others, but for yourself and God.

5. Pursue peace and Shalom. Connect with who God says you are in this season and receive it. (2)

CONCLUSION

People are bound to hurt us or offend us. If we are not careful it can lead to resentment and bitterness, or even worse the darkening of the mind. We then can begin to see potential deceit everywhere and keep ourselves well hidden and isolated. To effectively battle against offense we need to acknowledge we have been hurt, cleanse the wound by releasing the emotion, repent, forgive all involved, and reconnect with God about who we are.

SOURCES

1. Image created via canva.com.

2. Cheryl Townsley. Hope: Health – original purpose for everyone. Section 4: Spirit health. Lesson 3: Offenses. Transcript. Page 3-6...

3. Craig Hill: Daily spirit and Truth with Craig Hill. The Problem is Never External: Transcript. Sunday November 13, 2022.