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Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor.
Proverbs 29:23 (NIV)
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INTRODUCTION
Self-reliance is pride. It can lead to works-based salvation mentality which is also self-righteousness rooted in idolatry and pride. Pride manifests in two ways as either arrogance or self-pity.
SELF-RELIANCE
I can be a rather independent spirit. I became one after suffering rejection on so many occasions. I have sadly felt unwanted, unseen, and unheard. Even those times when I reached out I was met with resistance. It has made me a very independent. I have trouble asking for help and may still feel unworthy of it.
Lately, On Sabbaths, I have been reading a book by Bryan Elliott called As in Heaven (2). Mr. Elliott shares an interesting view about self-reliance. He calls it pride. When we really look at it, it can be seen as arrogance. As Pastor Craig Hill says there are two manifestations of pride:
arrogance
self-pity (3).
In both cases, the person is too focused on self. It is all about them. Now I am not saying that focusing on self is necessarily pride, but intense focus on self, when everything is all about us is.
Also, I will add that when people need healing, they need to focus on themselves. And if one is reaching out for help, yet not receiving it, that is also likely not pride. If people are humbling themselves to realize they need help, that is humility. Not receiving it can lead to intense self-pity and self-righteousness though as in the case of Job. We need to thread carefully.
WORKS MENTALITY
Self-reliance can lead to a works-based salvation mentality. We may begin to believe that salvation is works-related. That our works lead to salvation when salvation is merely faith-based.
How sneaky though all this can be. I have fallen into such a mentality multiple times. Especially when in need and being disappointed over and over again. Well, that is when Abba’s mercy and forgiveness come in, don’t they?
Our spirits are reborn, yet our souls are in a continuous process of renewal. Still, let us not use that to do evil.
COMMUNITY
There is no shame in seeking help in a congregation and community especially one Christian in nature. It is advisable to be connected to one. Finding the right one may not be easy, but when found it will be fulfilling.
I will say though, that some may be called into solitude for a season by Yahweh. Let us keep that in mind too. God’s ways are higher than men and we do not always understand what He may be up to. All starts with the source of everything after all. Who inspires someone to sow into your ministry? Who inspires someone to come to your aid? I believe it comes from The Most High. He can answer us in different ways, through different sources, most of the time that happens to be men.
Our relationship with Abba is above even that of a community. That relationship should be our main focus. Then comes the relationship with a community.
But, one day we are to step out and let our light be seen by others. Matthew 5: 15-16 (NIV) puts it best, “Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”
HOW TO DEAL WITH PRIDE
To effectively deal with pride, we need to shift focus from self to others. How can we serve and bless others, preferably in a community setting? We should keep margins in mind though and let the Holy Spirit lead us as to how and who we are to connect with, and for what purpose.
CONCLUSION
There is no shame in needing a community, needing help. It is advisable to be connected to others. Self-reliance after all is pride and can lead to self-righteousness and a works-based salvation mentality. We should always keep our relationship with Abba as a top priority at the end of the day. To deal with pride we need to shift focus from self to others, preferably in a community setting.
Application
When falling into self-pity shift your focus from self to others. Perhaps give a kind word to someone, a small gift or do a kind thing.
SOURCES
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Bryan Elliott. As in Heaven: Life in God's Kingdom Now. Available on https://m46ministries.com/books/as-in-heaven/
Craig Hill. Restore your Soul: Finding freedom from Fear, Shame, and Anger (on-line course). Lesson 4: The temptation of Pride. Available on Empower 2000 Academy.
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